Just a Glimpse

Every now and then I kick back and watch a movie. Usually I put in a Jet Lee or an Action film, but the other night I was feeling like a more mellow flick, so “The Family Man” was the movie. It is one of my favorite movies; Nicolas Cage plays Jack Campbell, a Wall Street trader who thinks he has it all. Jack Campbell is given the opportunity to see what his life would have been like if he decided to marry his high school sweetheart. At one point in the movie Jack realizes this is only a glimpse and not a permanent thing. He realizes that he might be going back to his Wall Street life and does not want to. He fights to stay awake hoping that staying awake will allow him to say in this world where he is married to his high school sweetheart and the father of two kids. However he can not stay awake forever and falls asleep, causing his to go back to his Wall Street lifestyle. With everything back to normal, he only wants to get back to the world he had in his glimpse.

What would a glimpse of a life totally dedicated to God look like? What would a life where you truly enjoy God look like? How would you feel at work? How would you feel at play? How would you feel around strangers? If you were totally in awe of God what would that life look like? The bible gives us a glimpse of that life.

Genesis 12-25 the life of Abraham. Abraham was first tested in obedience, Genesis 12, he was asked to leave his family. Trust even when it seems hard, Genesis 15, God promises Abraham an heir. Sarah and Abraham later in Genesis 21 have a child. How do we know Abraham totally trusted God and loved God above anything else? Genesis 22, Abraham was going to sacrifice his only some because God asked him to do it, however at the last minute God provided a alternative to sacrificing his son. If God wanted it done Abraham would have done it.

Genesis 37-50 the life of Joseph. He receives a dream as a young boy, Genesis 37, and as a result of sharing too much his brother sell him into slavery. Joseph’s life to me shows a big example of faith and dedication. Here he is sold into slavery, Genesis 37:28, Thrown in jail for a crime he did not commit, Genesis 39:19-23. After years of slavery and torment he is made second in command in the land of Egypt. Later his family moves to Egypt and his brothers fear that Joseph will show his anger and repay all the wrong that they did to him. Joseph responds in Genesis 50:20 “You intended to harm me, but God intended it all for good.” Joseph held to that God had a plan for him amongst all the harm that was inflicted on him.

Exodus 2 – Deuteronomy 34 the life of Moses. Moses spends his whole life listening to complaining and also listening to God. In one ear the Israelites are acting like children and in the other the Creator is speaking. The majority of Moses’ life is spent trying to get the Israelites from point A to point B. However Moses’ never gets to lead the people into the land God had promised them. He dies right as their about to enter the land.

The majority of the New Testament tells the story of Paul’s life. Paul has a life changing experience that changes him from the lifestyle of killing followers of Christ to a lifestyle dedicated to the expansion of a Man’s word that he use to kill the followers of. He finds himself traveling from town to town and in and out of prison. Then breathes his last upside-down on a cross.

Now will we all be killed for being followers of Christ, no, but some will. A life totally dedicated on following God is not safe. Jesus is not safe, He is good. This not safe lifestyle does not appeal to us at first because we like things that are safe. Jack Campbell thought his life on Wall Street was the best he could have, until he got a glimpse of a different life that at first did not appeal to him. Do we really fully understand what we could have if we only dedicated our lives totally to whatever He would call us to? On that unavoidable day of death, will wish you could go back in time and change some choices you have made.

Most Treasured Gift

Every year at Christmas when I was a kid we would wonder who Grandma Graham had made a quilt for this year. Back then she made about three or as many as six a year for the kids and grandkids, now she only makes one or two. Finally one year, during elementary school, I got one. Anyone who has ever lived with me knows what my most treasured possession is. They all know, I don’t care about any other possession as much as I care about my quilt from Grandma.

For years some people thought I was weird for loving a blanket so much, but it is the love that went into it that means so much. Living so far from home, a quilt like this, means so much. The only thing I would treasure more would be if my mother made a quilt for me. One year grandma learned of how much I loved her quilt and she made me a needle point of “Blessed Assurance”, an old hymn. Now I have two possessions that if I ever lost, I would be crushed.

There is so much I do to make sure the quilt never gets damaged. One year it had an old musty smell to it, and I wanted to get it washed. I played 20+ questions with my mother on how to best wash and preserve the quilt. I asked my mom so many questions about how to wash the quilt I think she got a little annoyed, but I wanted to make sure the quilt did not become damaged from the washing.

For years I struggled with protecting my relationship with God as much as I protect Grandma’s quilt. I was like the Israelites, I complained to God every time life was not going well. During college I got to the point of arguing with God and yelling my frustrations at Him. God was my punching bag; I hurled my anger and frustrations at Him. “God why don’t I have any friends, I stick with You and where do I end up??? FRIENDLESS, thanks a lot!!! God you created man to have a companion, You made Eve for Adam, then why have I never had a real girlfriend and yet everyone else has no trouble??? THANKS A LOT!!! God are you even listening to me?? H-E-L-L-O GOD in case You have not noticed it is not going that well down here!!!” Day after day I threw punches at God, and would not stop.

I am reading about the Israelites right know and their journey to the promise land. Much like myself they threw punches at God. Exodus 14:11-12, Exodus 17:2, Exodus 32, Number 11:1-15, Number 13:25-33, Number 14:1-12, and I am sure more to come. Constantly the Israelites are complaining about their situation. Moses interceded many times on their behalf, pleading with God not to destroy them.

Carlos Mencia has a show on comedy central named after him. It is a show similar to the Dave Chappelle show, with what some would perceive as crude humor. One skit Carlos does is called “The Dee, Dee, Dee awards”. The skit is about normal people doing stupid things. If I were to give out a “Dee, Dee, Dee award” I would defiantly give one to the Israelites.

Here they are being saved from slavery after seeing seven plagues come down on the Egyptians, and they still complain to God and Moses. Saved from slavery, crossed on the floor of the Red Sea to escape the Egyptians, and still they complain about water, and want to return to Egypt. Saved from Egyptian slavery, crossed big sea, witnessed water gushing out of a rock and still they turn to a gold cow to worship. After all that they build a magnificent Tabernacle just as God instructed, and still they complain about the food available for them to eat. They witness God’s hand in delivering them out of the slavery in Egypt, pushing the sea apart, destroying the golden cow, sends more quail their way then they can consume, and still they doubt God can deliver them into the land He promised them. Every step of the way the Israelites want to go back to Egypt. Dee, Dee, Dee, God is there, DUHHH, God has shown no examples of a limit to His power, DUHHH, God has shown time and time again He can be trusted, DUHHH. Hey dummy, yeah you, you dumb Israelites, TRUST HIM. But the morons don’t and as a result that generation except for two never occupies the promise land. The sad part is Moses, who had tried so hard and for so long, never got to go into the promise land.

The Israelites did not treasure their relationship that they had with God. They were happy with mediocre, back in Egypt. Getting to the promise land was going to take trust and work on their part. All they kept wanting was the easy way out.

Dee, Dee, Dee, hello God is working in your life. Can you really say, that there is no evidence of His love in your life? Can you really say, He has done nothing for you? Are you just looking for the easy way out? I felt so stupid when I found myself answering yes to all these questions, and saw myself acting like an Israelite during Moses’ time.

I felt like the biggest moron, to realize that God was nothing more to me then a punching bag. I am so sorry for the way I have acted. Over the past five years I have tries to get rid of this punching bag mentality. God is not a punching bag, He is Grandma’s quilt. Made in love and there for me to enjoy and cherish.

It's A Flocking

When I first started college I was searching for anyone to be my friend. All I wanted was to feel like someone outside my family cared about me. There was a small group of people who would at random times to out and “Flock” a person’s house. What I mean by Flock is they took pink, plastic, yard flamingos and put them around a person’s yard. This would happen late at night or while the person was at work and so… surprise you have flamingoes in your yard. It was a joke that went around with some people I knew, but I felt unwanted because it never happened to me.

On morning I woke up and my mom was pestering me. She was wondering if I had looked at the yard, what, like I care about the yard. So I humored my mom and looked out the front window. The front yard was cover with all kinds of stuff. I showered and went out to see what was out there. Of course the flamingos were there, accompanied by a kiddy pool with goldfish in it, and tons of McDonald’s play land balls. Of course mom was all giggly, but Dan, my little brother, and I were thinking up our revenge to the one who flocked us. We figured out who had flocked us, and we flocked them back.

I have to admit I do not know how anyone would have wanted to be my friend when I was 19 till I was 21 years old. I was a downer. Things like this would happen and I would still go into my depressed state. But then again do I always notice the blessings God sends my way. Do I realize that I am special to Him?

Remeber When... (My New Toy Part 4)

Every time I get around my brothers we bring up the old days. Remember when Mike broke him arm jumping off the dumpster and blamed it on Dan. Remember when Dave got that fire house dropped on his head, that explains a lot. Remember when Dan use to throw you guys off the bed. Remember the old days, they were so much fun. Sometimes I forget how much fun life can be.

When life gets tough it is very hard to enjoy it. During those times of refinement it can be easy to loose focus. “When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.” James 1:2-3

For two years I was angry with God. I only saw my situation as unnecessary and a cruel act from God. People told me all the time those Christian clichés, but lets be honest those sayings do nothing for the person going through the situation. I new all the clichés, but all that lost its application once the fire was turned on. Once the fire of refinement was turned on I only wanted out. I was upset and totally focused on my personal need and cared nothing about being refined. It is extremely difficult to enjoy refinement.

Last year, I had to go through another season of refinement. This time was still difficult, and still brought tears and periods of needing a hug from mom & dad, but my attitude was totally different. Instead of being angry with God I was frustrated with myself. I wanted immediate resolve to the situation, but that was not what God had planned. Then all the sudden when I was starting to get comfortable, the situation resolved.

Every time of refinement has brought about a good change in my life. In the beginning of college I learned to count on God for consistence. Last year I learned the importance of placing God first, as your first love. God never stops working in His children’s lives, we however may choose to stop trusting Him. Faith based on the comfort level of your life is no faith at all.

There Is A Method Right?? (My New Toy Part 3)

On the way home from a party tonight my friend Ed and I decided to stop by Starbucks on the way home. I had this wicked craving for a Strawberries and Crème, and Ed was not opposed to going, so we went. While we were getting our drinks made we were having a wonderful conversation with a guy that works there. Everything was great. I got to hang out with some friends from church, get a great drink on the way home, and cruse home to some great music.

We were only a couple minutes from my place and then it happened. I had taken for granted my ability to breath and drink. I did both at the same time. At once I new what was wrong and reached for the window switch, but it was too late, I was not going to be able to get the window down before the Strawberries and Crème came back up. I clinched my mouth shut, to keep the drink from splattering all over the windshield of Ed’s car. Finally I could not hold it back any longer and did one of those coughs where the drink comes up, but still tried to keep the drink in my mouth. This really weird noise came out, causing Ed to burst into laughter. At first he thought I was just doing one of my random noises to joke with him, but by the time he realized what was happening I was okay. Slowly the coughing subsided and I went back to drinking my drink.

I forgot there is a way that we must combine drinking and breathing at the same time. When we do this process incorrectly we project out whatever we just drank, and feel this burn in our lungs like something is wrong. We can do both, but we must do them right.

Everything has a process, starting a car, making coffee, cooking dinner, and so on. Is there a process to our relationship with God? Yes, but it is simpler then we might think. Jews back in the Old Testament times had to make sacrifices to God and follow rules and guidelines in order to maintain a relationship with God. Muslims must pray facing a certain way, to speak to Allah. Christians sometimes feel that God is to be held up to a high holy place, unapproachable unless you are wearing your best. Now come on that’s not biblical, especially in the post Old Testament times.

God is to be enjoyed, and that is biblical. Psalm 16:1137:4, 43:4, 63:3, 90:14, 100:2, Deuteronomy 28:47-48, Matthew 5:11-12, 25:21, John 15:11,Romans 5:3, 2 Corinthians 1:24, 6:10, Philippians 4:4, Hebrews 12:2, James 1:2, 1 Peter 4:13, and more. Not to mention great authors of old would expound on this joy; Saint Augustine, Blaise Pascal, Jonathan Edwards, C.S. Lewis, and Martin Luther.

For most of my life I lived under this thinking that God was like roality. When you visit a King or President of a nation, you wear your best and act in a certain proper way. You have reservations about being unreserved in their presence; after all they are the leader of a nation. Why would I not view God the same way, He is the ruler of all that we see. He is in control of everything, so why would I not treat Him in that manor.

The biggest example of my view on God comes from Jesus. Above all Jesus loved on people. He did not care about their social status or what clothes they wore, He loved them regardless. Above everything else Jesus sought a relationship with those around Him.

If ever there was a book I would suggest to a fellow Christian to read it would be John Piper’s “Desiring God”. I have only had my copy for a year now and still cannot put it down. Sure it looks like a long book at first, having almost 400 pages to it, but the last 40 are reference pages. If you can read a long book life Harry Potter, you can read “Desiring God”. It is a well thought out book on the aspect of enjoying God.

Once I truly, truly, truly enjoyed God everything changed. Once I enjoyed God I was more inclined to pick my bible up and read it. Once I enjoyed God, I enjoyed life a whole lot more.

There is a process to our relationship with God, and I would compare it to the way you might develop a relationship with a friend. First you enjoy their presence, and hanging out with them/Him. Then you might try learning things about them/Him. Then you always look forward to strengthening your relationship with them/Him. The way God strengthens our relationship is sometimes by having us go through tough times. God was trying to strengthen my relationship with Him, and I had lost focused of what was important.

Laughter is Coming (My New Toy Part 2)

Every kid counts down the days till high school graduation. Every year I would think to myself, only six more years, five more years, and so on until it actually happened. I knew graduation was coming and I knew almost the very day it would happen. I looked forward to this day and could not wait for it to happen. So why did I not trust God, that He had a day planned for me to meet some new friends.

At the end of high school I started feeling disconnected from my friends. I started to wonder why, and started to think it was something I had done, but it was not what I had done but what I would not do. My friends started making choices that I would not make. Your friendship grew farther and farther apart e3veryday. Soon they went away for college, and I was left in Dayton, Ohio all by myself. Sometimes they would come home to visit their families and I would not find out until later that they were in town and did not call me. I was so upset by the distancing of my friends I never thought God had some new ones on the way.

For two year I was a downer. To be honest I would have not wanted to hang out with myself during that time. My parents would always try to comfort me by saying God had a plan and had new friends on the way. God’s plan was for me to go through this, how mean. I started thinking that God was mean and totally not worth my time and effort. But I kept asking myself, if God is so great then why doesn’t He do something to change this life I am in?

One day as I was walking around my college campus, I ran into a girl I knew from church growing up. She had found a Christian group on campus and they were going on a mission trip soon to New York City. I thought it would be a nice change of pace to go on a mission trip and see NYC in the process. So I got some info from her about the group and how to contact them.

I started going to the pre-trip meetings, and meeting some people my age. Each meeting I started to wonder if this was going to be when God had planned for me to meet some new friends.

There was one guy at the meetings, John, I thought he was weird. At some meetings he was wide away and almost bouncing off the walls and other times he was almost falling asleep. Our meetings were right before WWF came on, and John and some of his buddies would stay after to watch. I never stayed, I thought WWF was for kids, and also thought they were weird for watching it.

Another guy, Justin, caught my eye also. It was hard not to notice him because he was the outspoken funny guy. I thought he was weird too; after all he enjoyed WWF also.

There were some other people in the group that stood out, but these two really puzzled me. I almost dismissed the idea of them ever being friends because of their joy with the WWF. I would soon find out my judgments were totally wrong.

We took two fifteen passenger vans on the trip. John and Justin sat in the back of my van, with me sitting just in front of them. I slept for a couple hours and then could not sleep anymore. John and Justin were still out, and only woke up for meals and bathroom breaks. I consumed myself in my walkman, closing off everyone else in the van. While I was listening I started doubting that I would make any friends on this trip. But John and Justin were still asleep.

We arrived at a grocery store at 7 or 8 at night, and John and Justin were waking up. Just like everyone else they took a little time to wake up, but when they did everyone around them knew they were awake. I could not help but notice their goofiness. They soon crawled out the back doors of the van and were chilling out the back of the van. I soon decided to join them. We were soon jumping on the bumper of the van and laughing at the jokes and funny stories they were telling. Laughter, now there’s something I had not done in years.

As the trip went on, so did my closeness with these new friends. I started to wonder, what was going to happen when we all got home. Were these friends going to abandon me when we went back to Dayton? I distanced myself a little preparing to be let down, a decision I now regret.

When we arrived home, everyone was inviting me to come to their weekly meetings on Wright State University’s campus. My mom and dad still did not know all that was going on in my head; they just kept praying that I would soon find some new friends. I started going to their meetings, because I had nothing else to do and had run out of excuses.

John and Justin soon became my new best friends. The day had come that I had been looking forward to for years. John and Justin soon became the best friends a guy could ever ask for.

The only trick about waiting on God to resolve my frustration and anxiety for new friends, was not knowing the day it would happen. I thought God always would keep us safe from pain and harm, but He does not. God allows us to go through tests and trials to strengthen our relationship with Him. God wants us to realize, He is the best thing that ever happened to us. Exodus 34:14 (NLT) “You must worship no other gods, for the Lord, whose very name is Jealous, is a jealous God who is jealous about His relationship with you.”

My New Toy (Part 1)

Every child looks forward to Christmas morning. The night before was the worst, I would only sleep for 5 or 6 hours and then get up and stare at the tree until mom and dad got up. My brothers and I would always be up before mom and dad. We would race out to the living room and examine our stockings, and if I was the first out there I stole some candy from my brothers’ stockings. We would get out our legos, which they still buy us to this day, and put them together. We would play fight against each other with our new legos. Soon we would become bored with the legos and get out our toys from the Christmas parties with our grandparents and other relatives.

When we were bored of those toys we would gradually get louder. We would try to make noses to get the dog to wake up, hoping this noise would also wake mom and dad up. When those noises would not work when went to the fail safe plan, breakfast in bed. I would cook the eggs, Dan, my younger brother, would make the toast, and Mike, the older brother, would do everything else. Then we would go in and wake them up with breakfast in bed. Finally they were awake and we could now read the Christmas story out of the bible and then get on to the event every child loves, the opening of presents.

Growing up, my brothers and I were all about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and The Transformers. Each Christmas we hoped we would get a new Transformer or Ninja Turtle. One Christmas I got both and still had a large box under the tree. I pulled the large box out. I looked the box over as a waited from my brothers to get their next present out from under the tree. I was thinking could this be the Transformer base, the Ninja Turtle van, or the Unicron Transformer from the Transformer movie. Who cares just open the thing. Mom and dad paid special attention to me opening the present and I found a plain brown box under the wrapping paper. Whatever it is not the cover that matters only what’s inside. I opened the box and started tossing paper out of the box, finally I found the present in the bottom of the box. Oh yeah, new underwear, gee thanks.

It is so easy to buy into the lie that God is like the unexcitable present of underwear. It is easy to buy into the lie that God is no more than a toy, to be enjoyed when you feel like it. Both of these thoughts are lies and misconceptions of the truth. God is like the ultimate present that you can always enjoy.

When I started college I started to get angry with God. My friends of my childhood had gone away for college and before that chose a lifestyle I did not want to follow. My older brother was wrapped up in ending a bad relationship, and my little brother was still a pain. The only people I could count on to talk with during this time was mom and dad, and what college age kid wants to spend all their time talking and hanging with their parents.

God was starting to feel like an old toy to me. Sure in high school He was cool, but now not so much. Plus it did not help that I felt that there was no place for me at church anymore. After all I wasn’t a youth and the singles were all much older, so where am I supposed to go?

God also started feeling like an unexcitable present of underwear. Church seemed boring and dry to me. Bible studies started feeling like old news. Everything started to depress me, I guess because I felt unwanted myself, with the loss of all my friends. Occasionally thoughts of suicide would cross my mind. Life seemed meaningless and boring, so I seriously thought about following through on those thoughts of suicide. No one, until now, knew I had those thoughts, and they might have come to be if it were not for one person. I never attempted suicide, because I could not get the thought of my mother’s reaction to my death, if it happened, out of my head. I knew my selfish act would cause her a lot of pain and sadness. Someone else was sad at this time to, but I did not know it.

For two years I felt like God was an old toy and unexcitable pair of underwear. Throughout this time I kept questions rolling around in my mind, if God loves me then why am I all alone right now? If God is so great then why is everything about Him unexciting to me? If God is so great then why doesn’t He do something to change this life I am in? Huh God, why?

The answer was so obvious; I was embarrassed I did not notice it sooner. I was alone during that time, because God was preparing me for friends that were on the way. (I go more into detail on this in July 18, 2006.) God was unexciting, because I did not enjoy Him. (Look for July 19, 2006 journal for more on this answer.) God was doing something exciting in my life; I just did not take the time to notice it. (Look for July 20, 2006 journal for more on this answer.) God was not the one that was acting like the old toy and unexciting present of underwear, I was.

Hedonism

One definition of hedonism is, the doctrine that pleasure or happiness is the sole or chief good in life. Chances are if you are not a hedonist you know someone who is, it is such an appeasing lifestyle to live. Hedonism is not necessarily a bad thing, when attached to another thought as well.

One hedonist I know lives for his beer and music. Almost everyday when he gets home from work he picks up a beer and starts drinking and drinking. In the morning when I get up it is no surprise from me to go downstairs and see fifteen beer bottles on the table, all consumed by him. Occasionally my other roommate will try to match the consumption, and they will get in a battle of who can drink the most. In one week he will consume over three cases of beer, and several Red Bulls. An interesting thing that I discovered is that he tells a lot of his buddies about me, and my pursuit to go to seminary. Sometimes these buddies will talk to me about things, but mostly they have this thinking that I am wasting my life.

Another hedonist I know, will tell you he is a Christian, but there is no evidence of that in his life. Every Sunday I go to church and not once, even on Christmas and Easter, will he go to church. I have offered many times to give him a ride to church, but never does he accept the offer. It is not uncommon for me to come home from church and still not see him for another two hours, because he has a hangover. He will also tell his buddies about my pursuit to go to seminary, and politely they will say that’s cool, and later it will be treated as a dumb choice for life.

What does that common saying, “Hate the sin, love the sinner,” really mean? My way of defining this statement has changed over the years, never more so then this past year. Some nights I will be exhausted curl up with my pillow and welcome the warmth and comfort of my bed, only to be awakened by the loud thumping of music at 2:00 AM. Not to mention that it is one of those nights and it is currently 3:00 AM and the music is still going.

Once a week this happens and at first I was angry at the person playing the music. I would wake-up and toss and turn in my bed thinking, ‘You idiot it is two in the morning don’t you realize people are trying to sleep right now.’ At times I would pray that the music would stop functioning and would not be able to play anymore. ‘God please take out that stereo, whether by surge or beer splatter, please just shut it up.’ ‘Okay God it is now three in the morning, and you know I need my sleep, so help me out here, and shut that stereo up.’ I have had several people tell me I need to move to another place, where late parties by the neighbors are not as common, but I do not see that choice as wise right now, only selfish.

A man asked me one time, “Do you feel compelled to join in, in their drinking? Is their lifestyle tempting you?” My answer is why I did not move out at the end of my lease, and instead renewed for another year. The lifestyle exhibited by the people living around me is not appeasing at all. Instead I am developing a hunger for the lost. Late night parties, I see differently now. Sure the inability to go to sleep is annoying, but during those times I pray a little different prayer, I don’t pray for the stereo to malfunction, or the CD to go bad, but instead pray for those who will remember these days as their closest they got to heaven.

Some of us se God as we do rain, necessary but we only want what is necessary for life. Half the time it rains it seems like the wrong time for me. Rain should only come at night when I am sleeping, at work, or stuck inside for a period of time. Sure this thinking might seem unreasonable, but I’m sure I am not alone here. I hated the rain the most when I used to read electric meters for a job. The worst time it rained was the night of my junior year homecoming.

My date had to pick me up, because I did not drive yet. That was embarrassment one for the night. She picked me up and we were going over to a friend’s house for pictures, and then leave from there for dinner. Rain started coming down while our friend’s parents were taking pictures. Pictures were finally done, but the rain was not. I did not have an umbrella with me, so my friend was going to walk my date to the car with his umbrella. It was a race for me to get to the car without becoming soaked. I got in the car and my date was soon joining me. She got in the car, but my friend did not wait for her leg to be in the car before shutting the door. The door pinched her just above the ankle, embarrassment two. Once we got to dinner the rain had not stopped, so I ran once again and my friend came to walk my date in. While running to the door, my shoes started to slip in the rain. After sliding into a car and almost falling in the process of getting my balance, I turned to see how my date was managing the rain. She was fine but had seen the whole sliding and hitting the car I had just done and was not laughing. After that the rain stopped and so did the embarrassments.

I know rain is needed for life to exist, but sometimes I hate its timing. I hate when it rains in the middle of working on your car. I hate loading sound equipment in the rain. I hate the rain, but we need it.

God is not like the rain, wet cold and something to run away from. God is to be enjoyed, like the puddle we jumped in growing up. God is to be enjoyed, like that first day snow comes down and you get to have a snowball fight. God is to be enjoyed, like a jacuzzi after a hard day at work. God is to be enjoyed, like a day on the lake fishing with your dad. God is to be enjoyed, not avoided.

John Piper talks about another form of hedonism in many of his books. He calls it Christian Hedonism, enjoying life by enjoying God forever. Which do I enjoy more a nice cold beer, or God? What do I find joy in temporary things or eternal things? Life is short; make sure you choose the right thing to enjoy in life.

Coffee With Dad

I never appreciated what I had back home until I left. During college my dad and I would be up in the morning together. He did not work until 2:30 in the afternoon, and I sometimes had late morning classes. On these days, which occurred at least twice a week, I would brew some coffee and we would sit and talk over a cup of coffee. Each time I drink a cup of Maxwell House coffee I remember those times. Back then I just saw this “coffee time” as a chance to relax and enjoy the coffee, but now that I have moved away I miss coffee with dad. Occasionally when I get to go back home, we brew up a pot and get to talk. Now I treasure the times I go home and have a cup of coffee with my dad, I am more eager for those talks then Christmas morning.

Moving away from my family was the hardest thing I have ever done. My mom is one of nine and my dad is one of eight, which makes for a family of over 75 relatives. Over 50 over those relatives live in my home town. I had to ask myself which mattered more to me, following God’s plan for my life our staying in my comfort zone back home with my family. Ever birthday, father’s day, mother’s day, anniversary, 4th of July, dance recital, and New Years that passes I question my choice. But moving was the best choice I have ever made.

While the choice was hard, I have no doubt that it was the right choice. Since leaving I have witnessed and been a part of some amazing things. Just to be a part of the church I am with now amazes me. If I had chosen to stay in Dayton, Ohio I would have never been a part of these things. But the hardest thing was learning to have a cup of coffee with a different dad.

I had to learn that there was a greater dad to have coffee with then my dad in Ohio. I had to learn how to have coffee with God. This was not an easy task to accomplish, but with God’s help I figured it out. I finally realized that this was what a quiet time was all about, coffee with God.

God does not want us to memorize the bible, follow some rules, and be unattached from real fellowship with Him. In the Old Testament this is why the tabernacle was build, in the New Testament this is why Jesus came, because God wants that fellowship with us. Some of the original Hebrew refers to God as daddy; He wants to be my dad.

There is that struggle that some people face of growing up with an absent or bad father. These people grow up with a poor view of what a dad is supposed to be. Donald Miller wrote a book “To Own A Dragon” on his reflections on growing up without a father. However I grew up in a house where dad was there. He was at my soccer games, he read stories to me. So I already had a good point of reference of what it means that God wants to be our heavenly father. God is like no other father on this earth, and a cup of coffee with Him is better than with any other father.

Really Care??

Just like most people out there my first car was nothing to show off. I did not start driving until I was almost 18 years old, when you have an older brother driving you everywhere it is not as important to get you driving. Anyway my first car was a 1986 Ford Taurus. Not the 6 cylinder model, the power packed 4 was what I had. Then during my freshmen year of college I was blessed with the hand-me-down of my mom’s car, or should I say my mom’s mini-van. Oh yeah, I had two cars now the Taurus and a 1989 Chevy Astro-mini van. For those that don’t know the Astro is the biggest min-van you can buy. We sold the car to a friend that needed a car to hold him over for awhile, so for at least six years the min-van was my car. Finally in the fall of 2004 the Astro became too unreliable for me to keep, so I got a Chrysler Concorde LXI. By far this car was better, because for starters this was the first car I ever drove with less than 100,000 miles on it. It has leather seats, climate control, automatic adjusting rearview mirror, and the seats can move 8 different ways. Like all of us I would like to have a different car, but that would not be a smart financial move.

Many of us treat religion the same way we look at cars. We have this mentality the it does not make a difference which one we choose to follow, so just find one that fits your needs. When a different religion becomes the “in” thing some of us change. Then there is that person that is comfortable with the car/religion that takes little effort to maintain.

Sometimes I fall into this mentality that my relationship with God takes little effort to maintain. I start to slack off on the quiet time, engaging in conversations with new people, talk with other about their walk, and many other things. Most days I run into a wall, mentally, and I have to ask myself, do I really care to know God? How could I ever answer that question with a no?

When I first started driving the Taurus I did not know what a starter did on a car, but I got the manual and figured it out, because I needed that car to get me to places. One summer the min-van’s fan would not put air through the vents. I had to figure out how to fix that or live without air coming into the passenger area of the car. This past spring while getting a oil change done I noticed that my front rotors were getting a groove in them, so I either figured out how to do it myself, for under $100, or paid someone over $400 to do it for me. When it comes down to it, we learn about the things we care about. There are plenty of ways to educate ourselves about God out there, but do we care to find them, or even read them.

When I was in college I did not want to read any book I did not have to. Near the end of college I did not want to buy a text book unless it was an absolute necessity. I relied on my professors to teach me the material, but there was that occasional professor that was bad at teaching. Then we see the bible and decided to let at pastor tell us everything we need to know about God that is in there. We rely on another person to tell us all we need to know.

Sure the bible is a very thick, and at times a heavy read, but it is worth it. The bible is filled with wisdom, poetry, and history. No other nation in the world has as much recorded history as the area of Israel, because of the bible. From reading the bible it is easy to see that God does care about His creation, and does make an effort to talk with His creation. The only thing is, are we listening or trying to fit Him into a mold that fits our limitations?

Devalued Women

How many guys out there have a real hard time with women? Oh yeah that’s me all the way. Every time I was taking a girl to a dance during school, mom would go over how to treat a lady. These talks would sometimes go on for an hour, so usually I started daydreaming. One thing I noticed in life is that every girl I treat with the knowledge my mom gave me thinks I want to date them. At least three times in college I knew a girl for several months, treated her as I would a close friend, but with the respect a woman deserves, and they always thought I wanted more then just a friendship. Everytime I was clueless on what to say, how do you convince a girl her assumption was incorrect without hurting their feelings? I guess as Donald Miller puts it, women are use to being devalued, and when they are valued they assume you want something.

I just finished chapter five out of Donald Miller’s book “Searching For God Knows What”, and really enjoyed some of what he was saying. “now that there are women all around and a guy can go on the Internet and see them naked anytime he wants, the whole species has been devalued.” (Page 65). Women have been devalued in today’s culture so much.

When is the last time you opened a door for a girl? When is the last time you carried a heavy load for a girl? I watched a guy at the mall the other day cut a mother pushing her baby off. He almost knocked the stroller over, and never apologized. The same lady I was helping out of a store, through some double doors. I could only hold one set open, and I saw I guy coming and figured he would help. This guy pushed his way around us and raced out the door in front of the mother, how rude.

I think girls that know me assume that because I have been single longer then any other man my age, I am like a hungry dog waiting for a girl to come my way. Thanks for the credit?? Come on girls can’t you give a guy a break and just let him be nice to you, without always assuming he wants to date you?

I was reading a blog of a girl that was up here visiting her friends and checking out Mosaic. I thought she worded kind of what I am saying in a way that a woman might understand. “my conversation with him reminded me of my worth, that i am a precious treasure. i haven't been myself for quite a while, so it is amazing to get around someone who knows the real me and have him remind me of who i actually am. i started crying at the table because i was so moved by the way he treated me. he didn't do anything out of the ordinary, he just treated me like a woman should be treated - with respect. i don't think guys in my life have treated me with respect recently. you wanna know why...because i haven't demanded it. when i act like a woman who is worthy of respect, that is what i get.” (Misty from Arkansas).

To put what I am saying in the reader’s digest version. Do women wanted to be treated like one of the guys, just another dude, or do they want to be treated they way they were meant to be with respect and kindness. There is no way I could treat a girl like one of the guys, my mom did her job training me to be a gentleman too well.

The Bar Is Much Higher

In seventh grade I started running sound for my youth group with my older brother. Every week and occasionally on Sunday night we were setting up a sound system. In college I progressed to setting up sound more often, not only Sundays but Thursdays as well. After and during college I started packing equipment in my mini-van and traveling 30 minutes to run sound. Now I had to transport the system I was running. Then my friend, Ninja Pete (a.k.a. John Pope), wanted to make an album. So throughout the week I was doing sound stuff. The whole time I never enjoyed it. I only started learning sound to be popular. I was hoping that being a soundman would make me cool.
I still run sound to this day, and still do not enjoy it. To me, what does it mean if I turn some knobs and move some faders and create this wonderful sounding system? When I leave the venues I run sound at they will have a hard time filling that spot, if I did not train another. It’s like a tale I was told, only I twist the end…

If a father catches a fish for his son,
he feeds him for a day.
If a father teaches his son to fish,
he feeds him for life.
If a father teaches his son to fish and teach others,
he feeds generations.

If I run sound all the time, so what I have a small impact. If I teach one other person to run sound, so what I have impacted a season. If I teach people sound and encourage them to teach others, I have impacted years of ministry.

Many Christian parents feel that as long as their kids go to church, say perfunctory prayers before meals, and basically turn out okay they did their job as Christian parents. In the words of Voddie Baucham, “The bar is much higher then that.” Do we not realize the church is not there to serve as a school for Christians? The church is only where we, as believers, come together, back to the huddle, meet together to encourage each other and lift each other up. It is time we raise the bar.

In the words of a former pastor of mine, “You talk about what you think about, and you think about what you love.” What are you talking about with your kids or people around you everyday? Are we always talking about football, golf, baseball, basketball, the news, or do we take time to share with those around us how much God means to us? I hear husbands talk about their wives, and wives talk about their husbands, in a good way, because they love each other. Are we talking about God as if we love Him, and enjoy our relationship with Him?

So Messed Up

Growing up I was constantly in trouble. Most of the time I was in trouble for picking on my little brother or the rarity of beating up on my older brother. My parents had certain rules we knew not to break, and usually they were easy to understand. Rules like do not hit your brother, no cussing, clean up after your self, but there was one rule as a kid I never understood. Why did mom and dad only give me a 100 foot stretch of sidewalk to ride my bike?

In both directions of my parents’ house were fire-hydrants, which served as our boundaries while in elementary school. We knew not to pass either one of them without permission from mom or dad, but that did not stop me. I saw the boundaries as a road block. I wanted to ride all the way up the hill, of our street, and speed all the way down to the other end, but that was way outside the boundaries. I did not realize that those boundaries were for protection, because it was not safe to be outside mom or dad’s line of sight, at that age.

Whenever I broke a rule, I was usually punished. A few minutes in the corner or a whipping on the butt and then the punishment was over. Especially after a whipping I did not feel like giving my parents a hug, but they always did. Mom and dad wanted to make sure that I understood that they still loved me. The rule I broke did not break the relationship I had already established with my parents.

Also while growing up I thought God had a list of do’s and don’ts. I tried to follow these rules, but the lying one especially was too hard not to break. I constantly felt like I was letting down God, and disappointing Him. My mind had this assumption that God did not want anything to do with me unless I followed every rule. What I did not realize is that these rules were for protection.

Currently I am trying to read through the bible in a year. As I read I constantly see this relationship aspect of God come out. Even in the old testament we see people walking closely with God, Enoch Genesis 5:21, Noah Genesis 6-8, Abram/Abraham Genesis 12-25, Elijah 1 Kings 17 – 2 Kings 2, and many others. The gospel of Jesus was an invitation to know God.

God is not waiting for me to mess up; He already knows that will happen. God however desires a relationship with us. I often hear people say I don’t feel God today; usually this is because they see God as a rule manager. The more rules we have broken that day or week the more distant God feels, until our Sunday fix. The bible was never about Sundays, that’s only part of it. The bible is about God’s desire to commune with us, and the first step is that of salvation.

Sin is detestable to God, because it is the distrust of God’s way and the relying on our own. Jesus died on the cross to wash away that sin. Only then can we truly have a relationship with God. What is so messed up, is that we get caught up in the rules and not the relationship.