You Forgot My Birthday

      This past Wednesday was my birthday, twenty-seven, that’s not old is it. Anyway the day started with an early wake-up call from my mom. She wanted to tell me happy birthday and assumed I would be up and on my way to school, however my school starts later this year, so I was asleep when she called. Of course once people at the school I work at found out it was my birthday, everyone started teasing me and wishing me a happy birthday. My best friend called me to say happy birthday, on his way to class. Another friend of mine left me an e-mail saying happy birthday. Finally I could get some things setup in my classroom, and as soon as I got really moving on getting things done mom called again, this time I picked up. We talked for thirty minutes and then I went to get some lunch. I ended up eating with a youth minister friend of mine, a good time as always. Then went back to school to get some more done. That night I had small group training, and found out it was another guy’s birthday as well. Afterward some of us went to IHOP for a late dinner/dessert. My older brother called me while I was there and later on my way home I called him back. The whole day went by and some people that usually call me did not. I did not get a happy birthday call, e-mail, or even a card from my dad, little brother, the nieces, or either sister-in-law.

      My immediate family members don’t send presents or even a card anymore. Grandma and Grandpa always send a card, so I know that will come on or around my birthday. My best friend knows what I like best and gave me a book he was reading and thought I might like. Another friend of mine gave me some books weeks before my birthday for my birthday, he could not wait to give them to me. There were some others who sent me cards, but not a single one from my immediate family.

      It is so easy to say that this lack of sending things to me or even calling me on my birthday is a reflection of how much they care about me. After all I never forget to call them on their birthdays. I live eight hours away from my family and miss them a lot, and usually do not get the chance to talk to them, so the birthday call is a long awaited call. My mom asked me this morning if I was upset about them not calling me. No I’m not upset just surprised. They have never forgotten to call me, so something must have come up for them to have forgotten.

      Can love or the amount a person cares be measured by meeting our expectations? I expect to get a call from at least my immediate family on my birthday, but do I let that hinder our relationship when they forget? Our best friends are expected to be there anytime we need them, are they really? Do we let that hinder our relationship?

      I know that my best friend is my best friend and I am his, but often when we talk our minds are elsewhere. He lives two hours away from me now and when I visit there are usually a lot of things going on. One time I went to visit him and spent two nights reading in his room, while he was at work.

      When we were old enough to drive mom and dad got my brothers and I a car. Not a brand new car but a used car. My older brother’s first car was a 1986 Chevy Citation, now there’s a cool car, yeah right. His second car was a 1987 Dodge Dakota, that’s a two door pick-up. My first car was a 1986 Ford Taurus, with only a radio no tape player. The second car was the hand-me-down of my mom, a 1989 Chevy Astro, the biggest mini-van on the market. My little brother got a 1994 Chevy Corsica, with only 12,000 mile on it. Even though my little brother got a way better car, my love for my parents did not change.

      God is ….. What is God to you? Is He a dad who gives you everything you want? Is your relationship with Him off and on again? Do we let that fact that God will not always do things that way we want, wedge between our love for Him. I will admit it I did that in college. I was angry and yelled at Him because I was frustrated that things were not going my way. But who am I to tell Him how to run things.

      Am I about to let the lack of a simple phone call or card wedge between my relationship with my brother, sister-in-laws, nieces, or even my father, NO. My love for them is not measured in things they do, but who they are. My father is my father, and I will not have another father like him. He is the guy that took me out fishing, tossed a ball with, wrestled on the carpet, beat the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game with, built model rockets with, and supports me, in his own way through life. My sister-in-laws are hilarious, they are the women of my life, a girl I can talk to about things, and treat like a sister. My nieces are the coolest and cutest little girls. To my nieces I am a Jungle Gym, a person to play house with, the guy that takes them to get donuts, and to one I am the Monkey Moose, that’s a nickname she gave me. Am I about to let anything come between our relationship, NO. I love them and they love me no matter what.

      Am I about to let the fact that God does not perform the way I want come between our relationship, NO. He is my comforter, strength, ear when I need to talk, He is everything I need, and everything He does is icing on the cake. He did not have to send His son to die for my sins, He could have chosen to forget about us and leave us to Satan to have, but He didn’t. He could have chosen to sit back after creation was completed, but He doesn’t. He could have wiped the world out, but let Noah build an ark to save it. There are many things God did not have to do but He did, and I am not about to let anything wedge between our relationship.

      A child who gets everything they want is called a……what? spoiled brat, right. If we do not except this behavior from children towards their parents, why do we accept this behavior toward God? It seems like a double standard to me. This concept amazes me that people can treat God like a rich dad who gives them everything they want, without reservation of what you really need.

      My dad did not forget my birthday I talked to him today and he said he left a voice mail on my phone. Maybe my phone was acting weird that dad, or maybe dad was lying, but which would you choose. I choose to trust my father over my phone; I know my phone has a history of messing up from time to time.

      My little brother did not forget either, he just sent his e-mail to an account I have not checked in years. So I have the choice either believe his story about not knowing the e-mail I have used for a year now, or he forgot and came up with a good excuse. I choose to believe he is telling the truth and had the wrong e-mail.

      With God the same thing is true we have a choice between what is true and what someone would have us believe as true. Some of us buy the lie, and some buy the truth. Some might say, your dad is lying to you and so is your brother, but I choose to believe their story. People will tell me God does not exist, I choose not to believe them based on what I know and have experienced with Him. Choose this day whom you will serve…

They Speak With Passion

      Everyone has something that they are passionate about. Most parents are passionate about their children. I try to call the grandparents every other month, and every time I call they always wonder how I am doing, and then they tell me about my Aunts, uncles, cousins, and every other relative, because they are passionate about Family.

      My mom has always been a crafter, at least since I was born. My mom has two areas to store her stuff. She has boxes and boxes of fabric, and when she was weaving baskets, she had a whole wall in the garage of reed. Now mom has expanded her craftiness to include scrap booking. My sister-in-law Jill I think was the one to get her started. Soon after the initial experience of scrap booking, mom started buying all kinds of cutting tools, punches, paper, and other stuff. Soon mom was calling my other sister-in-law April, her sisters, her mom, and even the nieces and granddaughters, to scrapbook with her.

      When it comes to crafting my mom wants everything to look perfect. When she made and altered the dresses for my older brothers wedding, she was very observant of every detail, and was not happy until everything looked great. She use to make drill team flags, and often the fabric would slip as she was sewing and cause the flag to not look right. She would rip the seems out and sew the flag again until they came out perfect.

      If anyone was to ask my mom a question about any crafting suggestions she might have, be ready for an ear full. She enjoys crafting and making photo albums, and things like that. One time I was talking to her and asked how the scrap booking was going, about thirty minutes later I knew about all the cool scrap booking things she was using. She was really into the special cutting thing, which makes some jobs so easy, she will tease me for forgetting what it is called.

      Have you ever been in a conversation with someone where they are passionate about something that you don’t really have an interest in? My worship leader is passionate about guitars, and when he is able to play a nice one he is in another world. One night a guy that had been going to our church for about a month brought a nice guitar one Wednesday night. My worship lead was looking at every detail, and calling the other band members over to look at it. He started talking to me about the guitar, and in my mind I was trying to act interested but I really wasn’t. My mind kept wondering and honestly I cannot tell you anything about that guitar, except that it was a guitar; I forget even what color it was.

      I would bet Moses was passionate about the promise land. Moses got to talk with God, an experience that not that many people in the Old Testament got to do. In Deuteronomy Moses is reminding the Israelites about the law, and how to conduct themselves in once they cross the Jordan. The people already heard the law before in Exodus, Leviticus, and Numbers, but Moses wanted to make sure the Israelites remembered the law. Why, because Moses was passionate about the Israelites and himself, having a relationship with God. Moses did not want anything to come between the Israelites and God, nothing that would hinder their relationship with their Creator. However some were not as passionate.

      Joshua 7, a man named Achan, tried to keep some of the dedicated things for himself. What was Achan thinking? It is obvious that he did not take Moses seriously, because Achan directly disobeyed instructions given to him. Did he think no one would notice? As a result of Achan’s disobedience, Israel looses its next battle.

      Throughout Joshua and Judges there are many many examples of people that were not passionate about their relationship with God. Judges that did whatever seemed right to them, idol worship, and many other things that Moses mentioned and emphasized to the Israelites as things that they should not do.

      Ravi Zacharias says in his book “Cries of the Heart”, when he was talking about philosophical debate, “Once again this is not to minimize philosophical debate but only to show its limitations and the ease at which the sophisticated can hide behind a mountain of words. Having dabbed in philosophy a fair bit and enjoyed it, I am never the less convinced that if one is quite adept in his or her discipline, he or she can almost ‘prove’ anything that one desires. There is no point in arguing with a person who is determined to explain everything away. Nothing good can come if the will is wrong.”

      Ravi and I are not saying that we should avoid people who are not passionate about the thing we are passionate about. Also I am not saying you should avoid talking with people, who believe differently from you, but such conversations can be traps, that are hard to get out of and you soon find yourself wondering how to get out.

      There is a system of things we as human all agree are wrong. We have laws that reflect most of these laws; don’t steal, don’t lie, do not hit others, and many more. I know someone is disagreeing with me out there, so let me ask you if I could do something, pop you on the mouth. Sounds stupid, right, but I bet you would not like it if I popped you one on the mouth. That is because no matter how much we may want to do something there are laws ingrained in us that we expect others to live by.

      If I were to ask three people what color my car was, I would probably get three different answers. One might say it is green, another dark green, and the last might say a metallic green. All of these answers would be correct when looking at my car. How ever if I were to ask who was the first president of the United States of America, the only correct answer would be George Washington.

      Human philosophy is like the question of my car color, it is a matter of perspective and usually boils down to life experience. There is also that common phrase, “That’s what I like to believe.” However philosophy is dependant on the person, and their mindset.

      If I were to pop you on the mouth you would say, that is an unacceptable behavior. If I were to ask who was the first president of the United States of America, the only correct answer is George Washington. But when I ask, which religion is the correct one, uh oh, we turn this question into a big philosophical discussion. Look at the facts, not the experience and changing art of philosophy.

      Is there any evidence outside of philosophy for any of these religions out there? Some, Buddhist have very weak evidence. The Buddhist got their beliefs from a man who died and 400 years later someone wrote down about him and his thinking. Hindus, uh if you can get a clear definition of what they believe, no, their religion is so scattered and without what could be called guidelines if would be hard to support any part of their religion without the use of philosophy. Jehovah Witness, Muslims, Mormons, Christian Scientist, and some others rely on one person who had a revelation that others did not share in the experience but bought into the idea, but once again other then the Muslims, no tangible evidence for their beliefs.

      The protestant Christian faith, yes there is a lot. Many civilizations outside of the Israelites wrote about the Exodus out of Egypt. Christ’s life on earth and His death, many people and civilizations outside of Israel wrote about. On a mountain in Turkey archeologists are trying to get permission to examine a mountain where people have supposedly found Noah’s ark. There is still more evidence outside of philosophy that supports the Christian faith.

      Passion and the things we enjoy can be funny at times. A serial killer may have a passion about killing people; does that make his desire to kill acceptable? A person who enjoys breaking the law, does not make it right to continue in his passion. A farmer who enjoys planting and harvesting, cannot just farm anywhere he likes. Passions can be both good and bad, philosophy can be correct and correct, it is a matter of experience. Is the philosophy you have adopted supportable or one man’s mind wondering?

I Can't Do All Things

You can do anything you put your mind to. Whatever you want to do, do it with all your effort and you will succeed. You can do all things. This is the thinking we feed our children, so we as adults feel like failures when we do not succeed.

When I was in middle school and beginning of high school, I participated in wrestling. I was not the best or the worst at the sport. My last two years in the sport all I wanted to do was get a metal in one of the tournaments. The closest I ever got was the semi-finals; I never got to the finals. I could not make it to the finals even for third place.

No matter now much effort I put into wrestling, I was always average. I felt like a failure every time I did not make it to the finals. No matter how hard I tried I could not make it.

Also when I was in school, D’s were not acceptable on my report card. I hated bringing the report card home. I always had lower grades then my little brother, and usually lower grades then my older brother. Every time I had a “D” it was like I had committed the biggest sin, and I was letting God down by not using the brain He gave me.

Spanish was so hard for me. I usually got a “D” in Spanish. Everyday I would go home and do all my Spanish homework, which usually took two hours. After finishing my homework I would go through my flashcards for another hour or so. No matter how hard I tried the highest grade I could get in Spanish class was a “C”.

I found out quick in life, I cannot do everything I want to do and succeed at it. I mean look at some of the people that try out for American Idol. They think they will be the next singer that we will enjoy listening to. Sure some we might enjoy listening to, if we need a laugh. Most people are reaching for a goal they will never reach.

“But the bible says in Philippians 4, that I can do all things.” Aren’t we forgetting the second part? Let me make my point another way: Adam and Eve wanted to be equals with God, Genesis 3, could they? Cain was angry with his brother and thought he could get away with murder, Genesis 4, did he? A group of people thought they could construct a great city that reaches to the sky, Genesis 11, did they? In Joshua a man named Acham tried to keep some things God forbid the Israelites to keep, Joshua 7, did succeed in his plan? All these questions answer with a big No.

The other side looks like this: Noah was told to build an enormous boat and get a bunch of animals on it, Genesis 6-9, did he succeed? Abraham is promised a son even though he is pretty old, Genesis 15 & 21, does this happen? Jacob seeks to make peace with his brother Esau, even though Jacob stole Esau’s blessing, Genesis 27 & 33, does Jacob succeed in repairing his relationship with his brother? Joseph is boastful about a dream he receives and is sold into slavery, Genesis 37 & 42-50, does his dream come true? Moses and Aaron are sent to deliver a large community of people out of slavery, Exodus 3-14, do they succeed? Moses is told to lead the Israelites to the promise land, Exodus 3 – Deuteronomy 34, does he succeed? All of those answer with a big Yes. But what makes these so different? God

When we peruse our own selfish ambitions, we sometimes will fail. When we peruse God given purpose, we succeed every time, so long as we keep our focus right.

Paul does say, “For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.” Where does Paul get his strength in Philippians 4:13, through Christ. So first of al to “do everything” you need strength through Christ. Paul is also at this point in prison, thanking the Philippians for their gifts to him. He is informing the Philippians that he does not have that much to his name, Philippians 4:11-12, but through Christ he receives the strength to do everything, God would have him do. In this instance one could assume that Paul is talking about struggles, and that we could over come any struggle because Christ will give us the strength. One could also say that Paul is talking about accomplishments in general. We can accomplish anything through Christ who gives us strength.

Amateur Night

Back in college my best friend taught me how to play football games. Before I was taught how to play Madden Football, I was one of the worst. My friends use to say, “If you get beat by Dave you really stink.” I was an amateur, and did not know how to play the game.

One night I was playing another friend that did not need my best friend’s help. He lost by two touchdowns that night, and blamed his loss on the game favoring me. Later we played again, and after I beat him by three touchdowns this time, he decided to give up playing the game for awhile. He never asked for help on how to beat me, but my best friend could still beat me.

Pretty soon we were starting seasons and franchises on the game. We started out having the computer on the Amateur level. We soon found ourselves bumping the computer up to All-Madden, the highest level, and we still beat the computer. Somehow I could never beat my best friend.

On the amateur level we would beat the computer by 10 or 15 touchdowns, what’s the challenge in that. However on all-Madden, from time to time we would only win by a field goal or a safety. The game would not be that much fun if I did not have to put up a fight to win. What would be the point of playing if the result was always, Dave wins by 70 points.

When I watch a football game I always hope the game will be close. I get bored even when the Bengal’s smash their opponents. But when the Bengal’s beat the team that has an unbeaten record in a close game, I love it. There is a meter to my excitement in a football game; I call it the fall asleep factor. If I fall asleep, which I often do, the game is boring. However if I stay awake the whole time the game was great.

My best friends still have not taught me how to not be an amateur with women. On the friendship level, I feel I am fine. Every job that I have ever had all the girls laugh and hang out around me. The guys come around me for a joke or to chill out. However when it comes to the relationship that go beyond friendship, I am about the shyest and most amateur guy you can find.

I was working at a restaurant in Ohio, and a co-worker I knew from church growing up wanted to hook me up with one of her friends. Her friend called me the next day at 8:00 PM. I did not hang up the phone until 6:00 AM. Ten hours on the phone with a girl, and yes we talked the entire time. She was laughing and telling me stories, and I was being witty and funny.

Word leaked, by way of my best friend, about my phone call at work. The next time I worked in the kitchen, the guys were calling me a pimp and the girls were giggling and asking 20 questions about the girl I talked to. Now the pressure was on to go to dinner with her. Every shift everyone was asking when I was taking her out, and where we might go.

A couple days later I got up the courage to ask her out to dinner. Jeanie, a lady at work that treated me like her son, was helping me prepare for my date. Jeanie smelled the cologne, I had just bought, to make sure it was okay. She helped me pick out the restaurant, and ice skating downtown afterward. I was ready, but still nervous.

When I stepped up to her parents’ door I felt like, I can handle this, but what would I know. She had a great time, even though we did not go ice skating, it was too cold to take a girl out to do that. We talked at her parents’ house for awhile after dinner, and I went home. Another week went by of talking on the phone, but within two weeks we no longer talked to each other. We were both heading two different ways in life.

The last time I had taken a girl out to dinner was for high school dances, and those don’t really count, you’re pressured to do those. I was pressured to take that girl out too. Through out my life I have been pressured into relationships with girls that go beyond the friendship level. In a way I have entered this anti-pushing state. They push I don’t go, but still I am so shy in that area it could take a long time for me to build up the courage to ask a girl even out to dinner.

There has been kind of a running joke with me family, that hell will freeze over before Dave get married, thanks Grandpa, love ya though. One serving job I have had in N.C., some of the servers thought I was gay when they learned that it had been over a decade since I had kissed a girl. Also that I have only kissed one girl, a girl I knew since I was in elementary school at church.

I will admit it, when it comes to girls, I am a amateur. Madden football seemed so hard, before my friend taught me how to play. Entering a relationship with a girl that is anything other then a friendship, scares the daylights out of me. As my sister-in-law- April says, “You’re just shy; we’ll get you over that.” I have known April for at least six years, and nothing has changed about my shyness.

But how many of us feel the same way about God. After all God is so big, amazing, after all He is the best there is. There is nothing better then God. He calls himself the ALPHA and the OMEGA, Revelation 1:8. The Psalms expound on how great and amazing God is. A relationship with someone like that can be intimidating.

Just like with Madden Football, it is easier to learn how to have a relationship with God when you have someone show you how. Even though I grew up in the church, and attend every Sunday, lead bible studies, and even talk with many people about God, I still always try to have a mentor.

My mentor has always been someone farther ahead in life then I am. My mentor helps me keep my relationship with God in focus. He answers questions that I might have about life or what I have been reading in the bible.

At first Madden football seemed impossible, but I had a friend teach me the game. The idea of having a relationship with God was intimidating, but I had help to get me through my timidness. Now only if I could get over my timidness of a close relationship with a girl, because no amount of help has worked there.