Christmas At What Cost?

Honestly Christmas is a struggle for me. There is then struggle of picking out presents for so many people, and trying to pick one you think they will like and use. There is the traveling; sometimes I do not look forward to the 20+ hours of driving that I do, by myself, over the Christmas time. When I do get to my destination there is usually tons of people that want me to come visit them, and I get frustrated when I don't make it to all of them. Then there are the questions, the update questions, and I don't mind these questions, except the single? question. It's like some people think you cannot be happy being single. Some people don't realize that when it comes to that part of my life I am slow, and the constant questions and pushing of the topic, I perceive as "we know what is best for you."

The thing that bothers me the most about this season is the perfunctory ness of the season. How many things do we do around Christmas out of habit? How many of these "things" bring us joy and not arguments during this season? I guess I had my thoughts together better earlier this month when I wrote the following in my personal journal.

12-17-2006

Sometimes I still get confused about Christmas. I guess the hustle and bustle is what gets to me. I go to the malls several times each Christmas season to try and understand it. Each time I go to the mall I see another thing that puzzles me.

Santa always seems to be a big attraction at the malls; after all he brings the presents. Reindeer, presents, animals of the forest, and in the middle a man in a white beard and a red suit. Okay he's got the cute animals and all the appeal that one might need to attract children to him. Sometimes I even see him handing out candy to the children, but no matter how many times I go by Santa's spot in the mall I never see a kid, other then the youth, that are ecstatic about seeing him. Often I notice children that want their mom and dad, not the man in the red suit. So what's the point of Santa? According to the times I have watched the kids' interactions with him; it's not for the kids.

Have you ever watched a married couple shop for their kids, its crazy? The dad will find a toy that he feels is the perfect gift only to have his wife kill his joy, by saying, "No, what were you thinking?" or something of that nature. Or there's the mom waiting in line to check-out and the line is not moving fast enough for her.

Then there is the big one for me. All the time I have been told that Christmas is not about the presents. I agree on that, but after one Christmas I am convinced otherwise. One year I had been trying to get enough money to buy Christmas presents. I picked up shifts at work, and worked a lot of overtime. Still I did not have enough money to buy presents. I was asked by someone, "What'd you get me?" I responded shamefully, "Nothing." Immediately they interjected, "Well I got you something!" That night the joy I once had for Christmas died, and I went to a superstore, used my cash reserve, and bought Christmas presents.

So around Christmas I get confused, and usually withdrawn. (I apologize if you were hurt by these actions during this time) I wonder at what cost Christmas dies. I would dismiss the tree, Santa, gifts, and decorations if I would not be considered a Scrooge for doing so, which I did this year and it was great not worrying about getting decorations up, I had more time to focus on my personal studies. Christmas is not about this stuff, the decorations and all, but we have to not let it push its way in to pervert the reason for the season.

Time and time again I try to get people to talk to me about what God is doing in there lives, I realize that at times this is personal, but there are some people I know that Christmas is the only time the crack open their bible, and this is only to read the Christmas story. I still do not grasp love God displayed on Christmas for His people. What amazing love to send a Son to be born in a stable that would later die for the sins of those who would accept this gift? The Son dies so that I might enjoy a relationship with His Father.

I guess some people that call themselves Christians will never indulge themselves in the joy of a relationship with God. Realize that Christmas is not once a year, but everyday we find joy in the gift given at the first Christmas, and I don't mean what the Shepards' might have brought or the Wise men brought, but what God gave, His Son.