A New Pair Of Shoes

      It was a crazy day when mom took my bothers and I to get new shoes. Mom wanted us to get a pair that would hold up, which usually was the dorkiest pair in the store. Mom would not have cared if we got three of the same shoe, but brothers cannot have the same shoes as each other, that’s just not cool. So we would argue over who would get what pair of shoes. Mom always had to push on the toe, squeeze the sides, and bend the shoe to examine the style to see if it would hold up. It was almost a science for mom; she had her list of things she did not want to see on the shoe. If the toe was not right, we were forbidden to get the shoe. If the sides were not made just right, we could not get the shoe. If the price was over $25, we could not get the shoe.

      It was so much easier once I started buying my own shoes. I could buy whatever shoe my money could afford. My first pair of shoes that I got on my own was pair of Doc Martin’s. I always wanted a pair and now I could get them, so I did. Many of my friends talked about how comfortable they are and how long they last, so I had to get a pair.

      When I got my pair of Doc Martin’s the shoe was not as comfortable as my friends made it out to be. The bottom was flat and had a leather like surface to it, so my foot slid while I was wearing the shoe. It was hard to walk in too. The leather did not like to move, and often felt stiff to bend.

      After a month of wearing the Doc’s they became so comfortable. They were more comfortable then my friends made them out to be. The bottom had molded to my foot, the sides bent with ease, my foot still moved in the shoe, but now it felt comfortable instead of weird.

      Getting new shoes, when I need them, is still kind of crazy, but I sometimes don’t want to do it. A friend of mine at church was taping down some cords this Sunday, and had on a pair of shoes similar to a pair I once had. I asked him if they were comfortable, he said he loved them and they were the most comfortable pair he owned. The shoes looked funny though, with a crack across the bottom and a partial hole in the other. He kept them because they were comfortable, not because they were in perfect condition.

      I do not like buying new shoes because they cost money. To me it is a dumb way to spend money. My shoe collection is bigger then when I was a kid, but is no where near what we see on the show Cribs. Every shoe I have has a purpose, whether it is work, playing a sport, chillin’, or working out, they each have a purpose and are used regularly. Why put money into a shoe I will wear less then the months in a year?

      Everyday I see people talk as if God were a pair of shoes. There when I need Him, “when I want God I’ll let Him know.” At times He is uncomfortable, “I can’t talk about God with them, they’ll make fun of me.” Worn out, “Yeah I did the church/God thing when I was a kid.” Mom’s choice not theirs, “Mom made me go as a kid, now that I don’t live with her, I don’t go.”

      God does seem worn out from time to time. We doubt our faith and ask is our faith in vain? Is there a reason for believing in God? We all face these questions, and let me say first of all there is no shame is asking these questions. I too, asked many of these questions. God seemed worn out to me when I first started college. I felt like God left me hang out to dry when my friends left and I was left there alone with no one. God felt worn out to me when I was in high school, conversations lacked any references to God.

      Many times in my past God has felt uncomfortable. School and work are hard places to bring up God. I often wondered if my classmates and co-workers would make fun of me, if I was to bring up God. At night after school or work I would go home with this shameful feeling inside, I could never figure out why that was. Each time the shameful feeling came up, I just blamed it on stress and the fact that I was single and desiring a relationship, all of these were excuses.

      Mom, dad, and hanging out with friends were the reasons why I went to church as a kid. God was a distant thing, I knew about Him, but did not care to know more. Every Sunday growing up I was at church. Most Sunday’s mom got us to church, dad sometimes had to work. Each Sunday, mom would wake my brothers and me up, and throughout the morning made sure we were getting ready for church. If one of us started goofing off, mom was quick to set us straight. But one day these reasons for church went away. After high school my friends left and I was left alone. Mom was annoying, and dad seemed too busy for me. All the reasons for going to church were gone.

      In high school and the beginning of college I tossed God around. I had the, “He there when I need Him,” thinking. God was the guy I went to church for, and the week time was for me. I rarely picked up my bible. I only prayed a meals and before tests. I only talked about God when it seemed like the cool thing to do.

      God was a pair of shoes to me for the longest time; worn out, my parents choice, uncomfortable, and only has a certain purpose. I was so wrong.

      Pride, oh yeah I did not want to admit I was the one with the problem the whole time. This is true for all of us. We have this box we want God to fit in, and if He does not fit, then oh well, let’s move on. In a friendship, do we toss our friends, our true friends, to the curb when they do not act the way we want them too? If you do, I bet you go through a lot of friends. Is God less then a friend? Is God that bad that we would not want Him as a friend? Why do we put these levels of intolerance toward God in our relationships with Him or lack of relationship with Him? Have we reduced Him to the value of a shoe?